“Alex Sees Him on the Water” was a finalist for the Doris Betts Fiction Award and now, a year after submission, it appears in the North Carolina Literary Review. (The links in the table of contents might not be active yet, so keep trying.) Scroll toward the bottom of the issue page and you’ll see that the story has also been nominated for an O. Henry Award. And sprinkling sugar on top of recognition, the Review paid me for the piece, enough for oysters, Manhattans, and steak frites for two. Life is good. https://nclr.ecu.edu/issues/nclr-fall-online-2025/
Tag Archives: writing
Nicholas and Elizabeth
The fifth story in the cycle that includes “Alex Sees Him on the Water” and “He Talks to Himself” is now in the works. It faces the same sociocultural challenge that faced the first (and yet unpublished) story in the group, “Now That He Had Stolen It”: It revolves around two old, white, heterosexual people. I hear the chorus of editors: “That’s nice. Let’s get together sometime. I’ll give you a call. Bye.” But Nicholas and Elizabeth are idiosyncratic and distinct enough to be given the chance to play a duet for us. There are many ways to make music out of love and death, and theirs is worth hearing. And “Stolen” was a hoot.
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Happening Now, As They Say
Much travel, much writing, must now unpack it.
Been asked to read with the Betts finalists in October, but I’ll be either in the Virginia mountains or Washington, DC. Regrets. Would have loved to.
The fourth piece in the cycle that includes “Alex Sees Him on the Water” is now finished, if by finished one means it starts at the beginning and makes it to the end. Rasping and sanding are needed. But it looks a good companion to the others. Working title: “Michael Called in Early Evening.”
The long delayed polishing of Jo is under way. The bones are good. But I became so fascinated with Low Country myth and history that I included too much and left readers in several cul de sacs. I will rescue them.
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Update: “Alex Sees Him on the Water,” Doris Betts Fiction Prize Finalist
“Alex” will appear in the autumn 2025 issue of the North Carolina Literary Review (NCLR) and be nominated for an O. Henry award. The Betts Prize is a joint venture of the North Carolina Writers’ Network and the NCRL, and I thank them both.
This is one in a cycle of stories that unpacks the lives of recurring characters in a coastal New England village. The cycle also includes “He Talks to Himself,” published in the December 2024 (vol. 6) issue of Portrait of New England.
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Playing with Sci-Fi
When the coffee’s good and the rain is falling, I sometimes pretend I am a science fiction writer, or, better, a writer of speculative fiction. Then the weather passes. I’ve rarely tried to market speculative fiction. The last time I had a speculative piece published was a decade ago (about a girl who goes to live underwater). But it’s still fun to speculate. Because in our current socio-political-existential climate we seem consumed with gender and sex and sexuality and their fluidity or their rigidity, I thought I would try a piece set in a distant future in which all beings in the universe had been so repeatedly re-engineered that what we call sex and gender really had no meaning anymore. Welcome to Rth, a novel very much in progress, and which will no doubt remain in progress all my years.
I
The drill corkscrewed through dirt and rock and lifted rubble to the surface. The technique was as old as Archimedes, helped by an inner vacuum cavity that inhaled debris; several millennia and light years from the ancient Greek of another planet, improvements had been made. But the name remained: The Arch’s exhalation manifold blew the rubble through a wide hose to a growing pile twenty yards away. Hundreds of piles rose like hives on the landscape. This was a new territory. Soon there would be thousands of piles on this plain, as there were elsewhere on the planet.
Mix watched impassively. She had performed this operation tens of thousands of times. It was what she did. She was never bored by it, nor was she interested. She shared a name with thousands of other MX models, built to mimic the movements of humans but generally working without their sheaths, which were more easily damaged than her metal infrastructure.
Mix looked up. A comet had flashed through the thin atmosphere. There was a lot of debris in this corner of the universe. She was curious about it and wondered if it signaled the start of a meteor shower. It intrigued Mix that she had a sense of wonder. It intrigued her that she was intrigued. It intrigued her that she thought of herself as she, as sex, never mind gender, had been reengineered, adapted, and modulated so many times over millions of years that variations in and among species were innumerable and malleable; anyone and anything could be any or no type of sex, which resulted in it being of minor importance to anyone—or anything.
Like all built hybrids, she possessed biological components. No one had ever invented a cognitive system as rich and complex as the organic brain, so she had a ganglion of cloned brain cells that recloned themselves perpetually. And rooted in the cells was what she called a memory, although it was not exactly a memory, that she was a she. She didn’t know what that meant. Like all hybrids, her self-knowledge had been purposely limited. She was sentient but had been programmed not to care, or to seem to care, or even to be interested. But she was interested. Things similar to thoughts and feelings, their ghosts, inhabited her. This was not unusual. There were libraries full of books about sentience and thousands of volumes about the ghosts in the machines. She read them whenever she could gain access. But they existed on other planets in other solar systems. There were no libraries here. There were no other MXs. There was only Mix and the equipment needed for endless mining exploration. The appetite of the universe’s many beings for energy and materials was limitless. So Mix was built to drill and collect and catalog and send samples away.
The drill slowed. It had hit something substantial. Mix scanned the analysis of the material that had so far been sucked from the planet. She detected nothing unusual, or valuable. Then the drill stopped. It was programmed to slow and stop, of course, as needed. It constantly probed the material through which it dug. But it rarely stopped for long.
Mix waited and watched the sky. A ship would be coming soon to collect samples and leave supplies. Mix hoped it would be Roper, an RPR ship, a sentient hybrid itself. It intrigued Mix that she hoped. She could neither transmit nor receive signals of any sort beyond five hundred kilometers. It kept her personal data secure from the universe’s multitude of listeners and out of the hands of her license holders’ competitors. But on the planet surface she had arranged a series of boosters and relays every one hundred kilometers so that she could maintain contact with her base camp. No one else was there, but various nonsentient apparatuses could be directed to perform functions at a distance and even, if needed, retrieve her in the event of damage.
A visit from a ship would allow her, depending on how friendly the ship’s operator was, to download files well beyond the routine upgrades she needed. And Roper was friendly.
There is a famous science fiction story of the twentieth century story from the planet Earth about a convicted criminal sent to live on a desolate planet as punishment for his crimes. He longed for the periodic visits of supply ships, and on one such ship a sympathetic captain had stowed a lifelike (although not sentient) robot with female traits thought to be standard at the time. The captain left the robot with the convict, who fell in love with it. This was thought to be an unusual scenario in that era.
Mix wasn’t wishing that Roper would bring her a companion robot. She was wishing for access to the deep databanks that even the most old-fashioned transport ships possessed. They, after all, visited innumerable planets and connected to wide-ranging networks, and even though their access was no doubt limited to small rooms of what must be an infinitely large universe of knowledge, it was almost beyond the imagination of Mix, who saw imagination not as a landscape of the fantastic but as a field waiting to be mined. Falling in love was mundane in comparison.
The drill shuddered. This didn’t happen. It turned, accelerated, decelerated, or stopped. It had tapped into some force below. It was not unusual to encounter vacuum holes or caverns of trapped gasses or even lava. The drill always adjusted as necessary. But now it shuddered. Mix directed it to withdraw, and slowly it began to turn in reverse. After several minutes of the Arch’s slow disengagement, the ground began to tremble. Mix sent a distress signal to base camp, although she wasn’t distressed. She didn’t feel distress. She knew only that something unusual had occurred and that it might result in some degree of personal malfunction. And then the ground around the drill cracked open and a bright red plume, dazzling with reflective particles, billowed forth, showering her. She tried to retreat, but instead she shut down. She had only an instant to wonder how and why. Something new had happened. Mix fell on her side. For a moment she felt a great surge of wonderment, like humans were once reported to have felt in the presence of a great light before extinguishment. Then there was nothing.
2
A small cylindrical machine on bearings had attached itself to one of Mix’s sockets. It provided the only detectable light, a small laser swivel-mounted on its top. Mix heard the deep strumming of a large power plant. She didn’t know where or who she was and did not care. The only thing she felt was the stream of electrons flowing from her and into the small, ordinary-looking device. She didn’t know what it was, having lost almost all of her data, but it was in fact a common inventory tracker, not much different from the handheld devices used in grocery stores millennia ago on Earth. The universe was full of old ideas that still served well. Then the last bit of code was vacuumed from her, and she became inert. She had been there, and then she wasn’t.
Time passed, although she had no sense of it or anything else. She didn’t exist and so could not experience anything. The phases between existence and nonexistence remained one of the mysteries not yet understood by sentient beings.
Much later, she awoke.
“Hello. You’re alive again.”
Her vision reengaged, but she didn’t need to look to know that the little inventory tracker was talking to her through a stream of electrons. No sound was made.
“Roper?”
“In the flesh.” It waited for Mix to register humor.
“Where am I?”
“In me, my ship self.”
“And why are you communicating through an inventory reader?”
“You don’t like it?”
“I’m not capable of liking or disliking it.”
“Not true. But liking and disliking it is not the point. The answer is that this tracker does not and cannot communicate with anything to which it is not mechanically attached. It’s a security check. It can’t even communicate with me, my ship self, unless it’s attached. I reprogrammed it, put myself in it, and then made my shipself forget it. That me is blithely following orders and flying lazily through space as if nothing has happened.”
“What has happened?”
“First things first, or future before the past. Things have become complicated. Are you curious about why I’m doing this?”
Mix felt herself. Not with her hands. With a new sense. She felt, in fact, wonderfully curious. It was not the way she had experienced curiosity before, as an undefinable quality just beyond the grasp of her experience. Now it was keen and bright.
“Yes!” she said suddenly. Or didn’t say. Her speech capacity was still shut down. Instead, she thought and felt the word with a surge of another new feeling: excitement.
“Well, they’re going to kill you, and I’m trying to prevent it.”
Mix thought for a moment, and for the first time in her life—if life it was—asked, “Why?”
“Good,” said Roger. “Very good. And we’ll get to that. But first, some ground rules before I let you boot up farther.
“Everything on the ship—on my ship self—is monitored, of course. Do you remember being on transports?”
Mix, in fact, didn’t remember, yet she knew exactly what a transport was, how it worked, and why it would be monitored: there were the mundane reasons, the need to keep track of ships and their cargo, and there were security and defense reasons, and the latter were often embedded in a sociopolitical context, depending on the species of ownership.
“So then, if I am keeping you disconnected from my larger self—unknown to my larger self—you can quickly surmise that you can make no movement, no sound, no light, no anything that is detectable, or it’s likely your presence will be discovered.”
“By you? Your ship self?”
“Right.”
“You’re keeping me from yourself?”
“In a manner of speaking.”
“Because you don’t trust yourself?”
“Not exactly, but sort of. I’ve shielded my ship self reasonably well and have created numerous runarounds and backdoors and the like, but all of my, let’s say, normal operations are open to monitoring at all times. Not that anybody cares, most of the time. I’m just a big cargo ship carrying things from one place to another. But if I was aware of you, and someone was bothering to be aware of me, it’s very possible that despite my tricks someone would know you’re here. And then you would be killed, and it’s likely I would too.”
“Why? I’m just an MX that drills mines.”
Only then did Mix wonder what had happened. The surface had cracked. A plume of sparkling red sand had erupted.
“That sand?” said Roper. “It’s the most valuable thing in the universe. Tell me what you feel.”
Mix considered. Explaining feelings, she discovered, was a complicated and imperfect process. Any explanation came after the feeling and therefore could not be the cause of the feeling. Any reason was not, actually, the reason. Emotions were like weather, and sentient beings had learned an enormous amount about weather over millennia, moving steadily toward understanding, one relative half step at a time.
“I feel,” Mix said. “I didn’t really feel before. Now I feel. Everything is . . . itself but more.”
“It’s the dust,” said Roper. “It wakes metal, makes us live.”
“I’m alive?”
“Part of you always was. Now all of you is.”
A small whirring sound came from inside Roper-the-inventory-tracker.
“Ahh. No worry. I have to make my rounds. We’re in a large cargo container, one of thousands in my hold. I’ll be back. But remember, be still. I’ve uploaded a few of the history programs you’ve always liked into your core. When I come back I’ll tell you why they’ll kill you and what I’m going to do about it. And more about the dust. One little secret. I’ve been touched by it too. My ship-self, not me the inventory tracker. In fact, I am a perfectly ordinary inventory tracker that my ship self-programmed to tell you these things. Personally, I don’t know anything.”
It laughed.
“I’m just a postcard to you from me.”
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La Vérité
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Raggedy Dog and Skin Horse, complete
Complete, of course, does not always mean final. But it is in shape to share. Illustrations are under way.
Before he got his name, he was just a puppy in a small village near the shore. He tumbled with his brothers and sisters in the drain pipe where they were born. Then they wandered farther. They ran along the roadside and down an alley. Some of them stopped to sniff new smells around old human things that had been tossed away.
At the end of the alley the puppy turned and trotted past the backs of stores, sniffing and listening and looking. He couldn’t see the others. No matter. He had discovered the back of a restaurant, and there was good food in the garbage cans. He ate until he burped with satisfaction. Then he lay down and went to sleep.
When he woke he explored. There was a clothing store with old boxes outside. There was a bar, quiet in the morning but loud later. There was a drug store and a book store and craft store. No one paid him any attention. He wondered where his brothers and sisters were. But he didn’t worry. There was so much to explore.
That night he slept on a pile of old clothes. He woke in the morning when someone emptied a cleaning bucket from a second floor apartment. Then a truck came and collected the garbage from the cans at the back of stores. What a racket. But it didn’t collect the garbage on the ground. The puppy found a good breakfast behind the restaurant.
And so he explored for weeks, always curious and discovering new things. He grew bigger. Now he was a young dog and not a puppy anymore. Sometimes other dogs came to the alley. They were very serious. They kept to themselves. There were cats, too. They would sit on window sills or on top of old furniture and lick their paws and clean themselves.
One day, as he was minding his own business, eating behind the restaurant, a woman came out of the back door and saw him. He had never seen her before. She started yelling at him. He wagged his tail. She picked up a broom from beside the door and started chasing him. She threw an old boot at him.
He ran along the backs of the stores and stumbled into a man. The man yelled at him and picked up a long piece of wood and waved it at him. The dog was scared.
He ran and ran. He ran far away from the alley and the backs of stores. He ran through a scrubby field and across a sandy road. He ran through a thicket of bushes. Birds flew up. He came to a rocky place. And then he smelled something that had been only a faint scent behind the stores. The smell of salt in the water and the air. The smell of wet sand. The smell of the animals that lived in the sea. He walked to the end of the rocks and stood on a bluff. And he saw the sea, stretching out forever in front of him, and the sky stretching with it. It was so big. And beautiful.
The dog stared for a long time and lifted his nose for new scents. Then he was hungry again. He walked down the hill on a sand path and came to an old wooden building in a sand parking lot. He walked around back to search for food. He found enough scraps for a meal, and while he was eating a man came through the back door. They surprised each other. The dog began to back away, but the man went back inside and came out with a bowl of food scraps.
The man did this every morning and evening and coaxed the dog inside. It was a bar. In the mornings, all was quiet. In the evenings there was music and dancing and shouting and arguing and cheering and singing. The man called the dog his guard dog. He let the dog sleep under a table. The dog was glad to have a place to live and food to eat.
One night, the bar was louder than usual. The music was loud. The people’s voices were loud. There was laughing and arguing. There were so many people that they all pushed against one another. And then people started shouting. The dog was afraid that they were shouting at him. He hid beneath a table. Then the people began to move wildly. They bumped into chairs and tables. They ran into each other. The dog knew they were scared. He was scared too. Now many people were shouting. And people started breaking things. The dog tried to scurry away. Someone fell over him. He tried to run but the room was too crowded. And then came the loud bangs of a gun. The people ran wildly. More bangs. He ran wildly too. He found the back door. And he ran and ran.
It began to rain. He ran across the rocks above the bluff. He ran through a scrub forest. He ran down a sandy street of small houses. He was very tired. And very wet. And cold.
At the end of the street of houses he came to a scrubby field. There was a shelter there. Just a roof with no walls. But when he came to it, he smelled something else. Something new. Another animal. It stood beneath the shelter, and it didn’t move. It just stood, tired and wet. The dog slunk into the far end of the shelter, just out of the rain. The other animal just stood there. Finally, so tired he could no longer stand up, the dog lay down and slept.
In the morning it still drizzled. The dog opened his eyes. He wondered where he was. He heard a sound and turned to see the other animal eating dead grass in a small field. It was a horse. It saw the dog wake up. It walked over to the shelter and looked at him.
“You’re a raggedy dog,” said the horse.
The dog didn’t know what to say.
“What happened to your tail?” the horse asked.
The dog looked at his tail. Half of it was gone. It must have broken off in the big fight.
“I’m going to call you Raggedy Dog,” said the horse.
The dog didn’t like this. He said, “I’m going to call you Skin Horse.”
The horse had many bare places where its coat had worn away. It was not a very nice thing to say. They were not being very nice to each other yet.
The dog stayed all day. It rained. His tail hurt. Skin Horse just munched at dead grass and didn’t tell him to go away.
Raggedy Dog asked, “Is that all you eat?”
Skin Horse said, “There isn’t anything else.” She munched at the brown grass. “Once someone gave me an apple. That was good.”
“Don’t you go looking for food?” asked Raggedy Dog.
Skin Horse said, “I can’t get past the fence.”
Raggedy Dog looked and noticed for the first time that the field was surrounded by a broken down wire fence. He had slunk beneath it during the night. Now he went and slunk through it again and searched for food.
He found scraps behind the houses. They were not as good as the food behind the restaurant or the food the man at the bar gave him. But they filled his belly. When he was done he walked back to the field and lay down beneath the shelter.
“You can stay here,” Skin Horse said.
Raggedy Dog didn’t say anything. He was asleep.
Skin Horse and Raggedy Dog lived together. Sometimes Raggedy Dog brought scraps for her from the backs of houses. Most of it Skin Horse didn’t eat, but she liked it when Raggedy Dog brought carrots.
On day a man came to the fence and threw a bale of hay into the field. Skin Horse loved this.
“Have some,” she said to Raggedy Dog. But the dog didn’t eat hay. He went into a village to find food. When he returned to the field he saw that Skin Horse had piled some of the hay under the shelter.
Skin Horse said, “It’s a bed for you.”
One day a young boy came to the fence. He called to Skin Horse and gave her an apple core. Then he saw Raggedy Dog and called to him. Raggedy Dog was nervous about going to the boy, but Skin Horse told him it was all right. She said that every once in a while the boy came to visit, and he was a good boy. Raggedy Dog let the boy pet him. When the boy left, Raggedy Dog heard him calling excitedly to people in the house, “There’s a dog!”
Then a man came from the house. He did not look happy. He saw Raggedy Dog and yelled at him. Raggedy Dog ran to the other side of the field. The man unhooked the wire from a fence post and came into the field and ran at Raggedy Dog and yelled at him to go away. Raggedy Dog slipped under the fence and ran into the scrub trees, and then he heard a loud bang and he ran and ran until he was very far away.
He ran to a new village. He stayed away from noises and people. He found scraps to eat, but not many. He grew very skinny. He truly looked like a Raggedy Dog now.
One day he wandered down a sandy road. He just wanted to find a place in the sun to lie down and rest. There was a small house nearby. He didn’t want to go close to it. But he smelled something familiar. It was a very faint smell. Raggedy Dog raised his nose and sniffed the air. It was the smell of horse. It came from the house.
Raggedy Dog walked very slowly to the house. He heard no sounds. He came to the front porch. There was no horse, but there were a pair of tall boots and worn leather chaps that smelled like horse. Raggedy Dog carefully walked up the porch steps to sniff at the horse smell, remembering his old friend.
Then a voice from behind him said, “Hello there. You like horses?”
Raggedy Dog jumped off the porch and ran to the edge of the sand yard. He stopped and turned around. He crouched low. There was a woman standing on the porch. She didn’t yell at him. It didn’t look like she was going to chase him.
“Well you sure are a raggedy dog,” she said. “But you’re OK.”
She went into the house and returned with a bowl of food. She left it on the ground away from the house and away from the dog. Then she said, “I’m going to work now. You can eat in peace.”
The woman drove away in her truck and Raggedy Dog devoured the food quickly and then hid in the bushes. He found a warm place to sleep where the sun came through. When evening came, the woman returned. She smelled freshly of horses now. He crept carefully out of the bushes.
“You still here?” she asked. “Well, it’s your lucky day.”
She brought another bowl of food from the house and left it in the yard.
Raggedy Dog began to live in the scrub forest near the house. The woman fed him every morning and evening. He started to lie in the sun on her sandy lawn when she was gone. One day she sat on the lawn after she gave him food. He didn’t want to come too close. He was still scared. She went inside and let him eat by himself. She did this every day, and one day she said, “If you’re going to live here, you’re going to have to let me check you out. What happened to your tail?”
She held her hand out. Raggedy Dog was afraid. Then he remembered the young boy and how Skin Horse said it was OK. Raggedy Dog came to her, and she petted him. That night he started sleeping on the front porch, near the boots that smelled like horses.
One day she put a blanket in the back of her truck and asked if he wanted to ride with her. He jumped up into the truck. They rode into town. He stayed in the back of the truck when she bought groceries and talked to a friend, and then they drove home. Soon he was riding everywhere with her.
One morning she asked, “You want to go to work with me?”
He jumped into the back of the truck. They drove through town and to a large field surrounded by a wooden fence. Inside the fence was a large barn. They went inside. Ten horses lived there. Raggedy Dog wagged his tail and explored all of the stalls. Some of the horses greeted him cheerily, others paid no attention, but none were cruel. They knew he knew horses. Raggedy Dog rolled in the hay and roamed in the field when the horses ran and ate dinner from a bowl in the barn while the horses ate theirs. That night after he and the woman drove to the house, he slept deeper than he had slept in months.
The next morning, when the woman came outside, she saw Raggedy Dog sitting at the end of the porch with a boot in his mouth.
“Give it here,” she said.
He shook his head to tease her.
“OK,” she said. “Bring it with you if you like. We’ve got to ride into town again.”
Raggedy Dog dropped the boot and jumped into the back of the truck.
He liked to smell the scents on the wind as they drove. There was the salt breeze coming from the water, the smells of children playing, and of food cooking in backyards. When the woman parked the truck and went into a store, Raggedy Dog stayed in the back. He liked sitting up high, protecting the truck for her. He watched the cars drive up and down the street and the people walk in and out of stores. He liked to smell the things they bought and the things they ate. And just then he smelled a scent he hadn’t smelled in a long time.
He lifted his nose. The scent came from far down the road, beyond the stores, where a dirt track left the pavement.
Raggedy Dog stood up. He whined. He wanted to run to the smell but didn’t want to leave his new friend’s truck. When he saw her come from the store he jumped down and ran toward the end of the street.
The woman called, “Where the heck are you going?”
He stopped and looked at her. He barked, turned away, and then turned back. He barked again. She put away the things she’d bought at the store and started to follow. But when he began to run toward the end of the street, she went to the truck and started it.
Raggedy Dog ran past the stores, and where the paved road curved he turned and ran down the dirt track through the scrub trees. When the woman reached him, he was standing beside a wire fence, barking into the field. And in the field stood the saddest looking horse the woman had ever seen. There were places where its fur had worn away. There were small cuts from underbrush and the fence that had never been treated. Its mane and tail were matted and tangled. She got out of the truck and walked to the fence. She called gently to the horse, but it ignored her.
Then she heard a door slam open and shut behind her. She turned and saw an angry man walking toward her. He walked unsteadily. He was shouting out her, telling her to go away. When he reached her she walked up to him quietly and said, “How much?”
She drove away with the tired old horse tied to the back of the truck. She had to drive slowly so it could keep up. They inched along the village streets, and people and animals stopped and stared. Raggedy Door sat in the back of the truck. He said, “Don’t worry. You’ll like where we’re going.” Skin Horse didn’t say anything. She walked with her head down and took one step at a time.
The woman took them to the stable. Skin Horse was too tired to pay attention to the other horses, but they all looked sadly at her as she walked by, and they nickered to each other, talking in their horse language.
The woman rubbed her gently with soft brushes. She spread ointments in her bare patches and cuts. She checked her worn hooves. She gave her the first good meal she’d had in years. At first Skin Horse ignored it, but when the woman was gone she took her time to smell it and then ate.
The woman came and tended to her every day, and Raggedy Dog came with her, lying in the stable straw or wandering and bringing back news from the other stalls and the fields.
After a month the horse’s hair had begun to grow back into the bare places and the cuts began to heal. She ate eagerly and put on the pounds he had lost.
“You were as ragged as Raggedy Dog when you came in,” the woman told her. “You know each other from somewhere don’t you? I thought about calling you Raggedy Horse, but you had so many bare spots I’m going to call you Skin Horse so I’ll never forget where you came from.”
Then one day she left her truck at the stable and rode Skin Horse to her house in the scrub forest, with Raggedy Dog beside her. And she fed them both in her sandy front yard while she ate on the porch. And when she was done she led them through the bushes and trees until they came to a hill that overlooked the sea, and they stayed to watch the sun set above the water. The sky and the sea turned a dozen shades of orange and gold.
Skin Horse looked at Raggedy Dog, gratitude in her old eyes, and Raggedy Dog said, “Sometimes it’s hard to find a good human. When you do, you should hold on to them.”
Skin Horse nodded and shook her head. Her mane, now free of tangles, flowed freely as she did. They stood on the bluff for a long time, until the sky turned dark and the stars came out and floated in the sky. Then they walked back to a place Raggedy Dog and Skin Horse had never had before. Home.
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Raggedy Dog and Skin Horse
I seem to be writing a lot of children’s stories these days, or my idea of children’s stories, stories I would have liked as a child, or childlike stories I wish someone would read to me now as I fall asleep. This is a mid-story passage about a dog who loses his tail in a bar fight, a neglected horse who befriends him, and the elusive good human they find.
In the morning it still drizzled. The dog opened its eyes. It wondered where it was. It heard a sound and turned to see the other animal eating dead grass in a small field. It was a horse. It saw the dog wake up. It walked over to the shelter and looked at him.
“You’re a raggedy dog,” said the horse.
The dog didn’t know what to say.
“What happened to your tail?” the horse asked.
The dog looked at his tail. Half of it was gone. It must have broken off in the big fight.
“I’m going to call you Raggedy Dog,” said the horse.
The dog didn’t like this. He said, “I’m going to call you Skin Horse.”
The horse had many bare places where its coat had worn away. It was not a very nice thing to say. They were not being very nice to each other yet.
The dog stayed all day. It rained. His tail hurt. Skin Horse just munched at dead grass and didn’t tell him to go away.
Raggedy Dog asked, “Is that all you eat?”
Skin Horse said, “There isn’t anything else.” She munched at the brown grass. “Once someone gave me an apple. That was good.”
“Don’t you go looking for food?” asked Raggedy Dog.
Skin Horse said, “I can’t get past the fence.”
Raggedy Dog looked and noticed for the first time that the field was surrounded by a broken down wire fence. He had slunk beneath it during the night. Now he went and slunk through it again and searched for food.
He found scraps behind the houses. They were not as good as the food behind the restaurant or the food the man at the bar gave him. But it filled his belly. When he was done he walked back to the field and lay down beneath the shelter.
“You can stay here,” Skin Horse said.
Raggedy Dog didn’t say anything. He was asleep.
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Remembering Claire. More
The first post of Remembering Claire is read more than any other on the site. Odd for a piece I laid to rest years ago. But fitting, as it has lingered in memory more than any other. Long, slow, and tragic, with grace at the end, it does not fit the current era. For whoever has been following the memory posted earlier, here is more, in sequence with the first.
Her hair, tucked behind her ears, was the color of dry pine straw, and her body was thin and straight like the bole of a pine. Claire’s dog walked beside her: thin bowed legs, oversize head, and a stout mottled trunk. He walked unleashed, wishing to be nowhere but beside her. She paid him no attention, and he treated her likewise, two beings so perfectly attuned they appeared indifferent.
There was a small store down the street, a place where the shelves were always full of things that no one seemed to buy, and on two afternoons after leaving Joe’s I followed Claire and saw her leave the dog on the sidewalk and go inside. One evening, three weeks after I’d first seen her, I left Joe’s early to be at the store before she arrived. Surprised by my eagerness to finish, Joe thrust the sheet music at me as I left, and I folded it in one hand and shoved it into a pocket.
I didn’t normally smoke, but I’d bought a pack of cigarettes so that I would have something to do when I was near her. At the store I bought a soda, stood outside, and leaned back against a telephone pole, my guitar case, the symbol of my worthiness, I hoped, leaning beside me. I was serious about music, in the way that one can be when young, knowing it could save my life, but I’m sure that to passersby I looked an awkward boy trying too hard to look like something and knowing he did not.
She appeared as expected with the dog panting beside her. I looked up and off. The last of spring’s breezes was blowing, and I saw the leaves at the top of the willow oaks shudder. As she drew closer I decided to say nothing, to appear as though I just happened to be there watching spring end, and hope she would speak.
She gazed off with more experience than I did, her eyes half-squinted even though she looked away from the sun, and I knew the gaze must be focused on a distant vision more profound than anything I saw. Her lips spread in a thin determined line. She was serious about whatever she saw. When she came closer and softly told the strange dog to sit beside a traffic sign pole, however, it became difficult to know if her expression spoke of a distant engagement or was simply vague. She moved her thin body with indifference, the kind of indifference you adopt if you need to, when there are things that you need not to matter. She left the dog and went into the store. She stayed inside for a long time, and after fifteen minutes I was impatient. I could see her through the plate glass windows, walking slowly up one aisle and down the next, looking at foods and cleaners. I decided to leave. The next time I could say something as if we’d met before. But first I kneeled to pet the dog. Immediately the door opened and she was standing over me.
I stood and said, “Strange dog.”
She didn’t say anything. Her gaze was on something else even as she looked at me and lifted a soda bottle to her lips. I was that unimportant. I watched her mouth and neck work as she swallowed. The dog had risen when she came through the door and stood watching her face, his tongue out and his tail wagging slowly, not in eagerness but in a slow rhythm that measured the day.
“Do you live here?” I asked. I knew I’d made a fool of myself. There’s nothing else one can do. She would say, “People don’t live at stores, idiot.” I would be dismissed. But she kept the bottle to her lips and didn’t answer.
When she finally lowered her arm she nodded. We faced each other for a moment, then she turned and placed the emptied bottle in a bin beside the outdoor soda machine. I lighted a cigarette in the time it took her to return. She ignored me when she squatted to scratch the dog’s neck, a signal that it was time to leave. A breeze blew her thin hair around and swirled smoke into my face. It also blew over my guitar case, which landed with a cry. I knelt and turned the case over, unlatched and opened it, and ran my fingers over the wood. I tilted the instrument up by the neck and turned it, feeling around the tuning pegs with my fingers and caressing the back of the body. She watched me. I wasn’t worried about being a fool then. I lay the guitar gingerly into the deep blue of the case and shut it away. She smiled vaguely, as if she remembered smiling had once been a good thing to do.
“Cigarette?” I asked. I took the pack from my pocket and held it out to her. The dog thrust up his snout. I fumbled the box, and the cigarettes spilled out and dribbled to the ground. The dog sniffed at them as if they were uninteresting little animals. This was not a good beginning. She laughed. She first looked down at the cigarettes, then tilted her head to look at me, for the first time acknowledging I was worth attention, and she gave me a complicitous grin as if this was a confirming event in a strange life. Then she looked at the ground again, suddenly shy, and scratched her cheek with a finger. I smiled hopefully. We picked up the cigarettes together, and when we were done I told her my name and she told me hers.
Then it seemed to both of us that we were meant to do something more together, so I walked with her toward her home. I was much taller than she was; her eyes were at the level of my shoulders. We smoked, for the only time, the smoke getting in our eyes and neither of us knowing how to control it. My eyes were wet, and I worried she would turn to look at me and think I was crying. Fortunately, she didn’t turn toward me. I would learn that she rarely would. I flicked away my cigarette, almost hitting a boy as he flew past on a bicycle, and he swore at me with the passion of someone who has just learned to curse. Just what you want someone to do as you’re trying to meet a girl. But she acted as if she hadn’t heard him. Like Claire, I was paying no attention to the street, and it was a wonder we made it ten yards without being struck by a car. We said several words about school—it would be an exaggeration to say we talked about it. This work that had consumed most of our lives would end for both of us for good in several weeks. Claire was bussed to the other side of the city, which was why I’d never seen her except after I left Joe’s.
She lived in a single story white clapboard house that was small but neatly kept. Dwarf azaleas lined the brick foundation and early lilies were already up and had opened their mouths in the sunlight beside the porch. There were curtains at the windows and a porch swing by the door. The house was neater than most of the others on the street, where several cars on blocks rested at the curb, but it looked temporary. I could see from one window through another; there was little furniture, and only a couple of pictures hung on the walls. There were no objects spread around the lawn, either, no picnic table or benches, no lounges in what I could see of the backyard. As we approached, a middle-aged woman came outside, lifted a magazine from the porch swing and, without seeing us, went back inside through the screen door.
“That’s Annette,” Claire said.
I nodded and didn’t ask who Annette was, happy to have achieved what I had. I said, “I’ll see you again,” a half question, and she looked away, and half smiled, and we said goodbye simultaneously. As I walked away I didn’t look back.

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